Time is the unseen ruler. Similar to the wind, we cannot see it as a physical object, but we can see the effect it has on things around us. The wind makes itself known through rustled tree branches and gentle caresses. Time is a gentler caress, slowly wrinkling our faces and withering our bodies. It sweeps through our worlds, though not hurried or lazy, ever-patient and ever-there.

I’ve been thinking about the stress in my life lately, and what I do, or don’t do, to help pile it on. I realize that my days, my weeks, and my life is ruled by deadlines. On top of the expected deadlines for taxes, health insurance, bills and work shifts, I end up giving myself deadlines on eating times, workouts, bed times, etc. My life is run by the hands of the clock. I have recently become rather obsessed with following my routine to a T, and I think this stems from two things. One, is the lack of control I feel in other aspects of my  life (like aging, my future) which causes me to implement silly deadlines and time frames to have a sense of faux control over my day. Second, is the sense of minute accomplishment when finishing something on time, or getting somewhere with time to spare. This is a double edged sword, though, because the times where I do not finish on time lead to undue stress and anger at myself and at the situation.

I wonder how we were meant to live. Truly designed and MEANT to live. Our species is gifted with an ability to plan, and I think we’ve overdone it. We are a nation of people who must know the hour. If we were truly in the moment, would we cease to care about the passing of time? The ‘moment’, in itself, is a measure of time. And each time you realize and welcome it, it has passed. There are certain aspects of time in our lives that we MUST acknowledge and prepare for, such as the death or decline of a loved one or ourselves, the inevitable season of winter each year, the growing swell of a womb in pregnancy, but I think we (at least I) need to be lighthearted about the rest.

How can you be lighthearted in a culture of deadlines?

Things that wouldn’t exist if time didn’t exist:

• The White Rabbit
• Certain Salvador Dali paintings
• Big Ben
• Daylight Savings
• The phrase “It is only a matter of time”
• Sun Dials
• Rolex
• Cyndi Lauper’s ‘Time After Time’

 

 

Ainslee