This post will hit on a more personal matter, but something that hinders me day to day and I think it warrants a discussion. Or rather, a rambling.

We’re all familiar with the phrase “Practice Makes Perfect”, and the idea behind the phrase is just as true as the actual statement is not. I think a more mortal and humble idea would be “Practice Makes Better”, because, let’s face it, perfect is hardly attainable. Of course there are exceptions, such as an aspiring guitarist nailing ‘Master Of Puppets’ after 6 months of grueling practice, or a gymnast flawlessly executing an uneven bar routine. But, most of the time, none of us will be perfect.

Something that I have been sorely lacking practice in for the past 2 years is socialization. I’ve always had a quick wit and a sharp tongue, sometimes to a fault, and in spite of my self esteem. The past two years, though, I have put almost zero effort into creating and sustaining relationships. Besides my family, I have two people that I talk to every day. Two. I have so effectively and persistently isolated myself from this world full of personalities that I feel of a different species. And I don’t think I’m alone. There is currently an epidemic in the human race called social anxiety, and it’s resulting in closed doors, drawn curtains, downcast eyes and online ordering. I absolutely blame the internet, it makes it easy for those with low self esteem to shut themselves in and operate from a keyboard.

The social anxiety isn’t the only factor. We have become so accustomed to ignoring each other in public. I find it so strange that I can walk down a sidewalk and pass a woman, and she stares straight ahead and walks right by me. The two of us, creatures of the same genetic makeup, walking within an inch or so of our shoulders touching and pretending the other doesn’t exist. I always smile. It seems too Twilight Zone to pretend we don’t see each other.

We are afraid of each other, afraid of ourselves. Afraid that what we say or don’t say is the wrong thing. Our capacity for reasoning is almost a curse. With rationalization and consciousness comes over-thinking and awkwardness. I am so inflicted with my internal thoughts that 90% of what comes out of my mouth has been rehearsed and repeated in my mind over and over until I end up messing it up anyway, and spending the next hour over-thinking how it could’ve been misconstrued or taken offensively. I am so afraid of being not liked and judged that I end up not liking and judging myself.

In essence, it is a testament to how different we all are. We don’t know how the other person thinks, and that’s what makes us so interesting. When we find something relatable in someone else, we latch. People love relatable. You find out that Suzy from the supermarket loves avocados. You love avocados. You talk recipes. It’s a reminder that you’re the same species, and there’s nothing to be afraid of. That fear you feel is a leftover reaction from our ancestors, from a fight-or-flight response where death was imminent. Suzy from the supermarket is not going to kill you. The only way for the social anxiety to pass is to put yourself in uncomfortable situations, over and over and over again. Stop ignoring people and start making friends.

 

Ainslee